SIR – Cold though it has been, the first signs of spring are upon us as our local politicians, scenting the onset of the May elections, start to draw attention to themselves in their attempts to convince an increasingly (justifiably) cynical electorate that they are worthy of our trust and are in touch with the wishes and concerns of us all.

Such is the optimism of these pale, vociferous but dull-witted creatures that no matter what the result, they will be able to convince themselves they have been victorious as they emphasise with rising panic in their voices that “I want to be very clear on this” in their desperation to be loved.

I predict an increasing flurry of activity as the deadline approaches as each wannabe builds themselves into a frenzy – no letter column will be safe, no hand unshaken, no baby unkissed before these sloth-like creatures return to the dark and airless holes from whence they came.

Fortunately for the rest of us, the need to adopt evasion techniques will soon be gone, as after election night most will disappear from sight for a further 11 months – only the occasional rant from a renegade off on their soap box will disturb our equilibrium.

As a final thought, would it be possible to have ‘None of the above’ added to the ballot paper?

TIM PALMER

Worcester