THIS story is not so much about what the butler saw, but what the butler did and as leg-pulls go, it was the real deal. Back in the 1990s Chris Harrington worked as leading butler on a cruise ship line with billionaire customers and gold plated service. Nothing was too much trouble for the monied clientele, from ensuring their shore visits ran smoothly to subtly suggesting which wine might suit the chateaubriand.
Clothes pressing, shoe shining and assistance with choosing the right outfits for the numerous ship’s functions were all part of the package and so when Chris received a call from one of the state cabins to help a gentleman dress for dinner, it was all part of the job.
The occupants were a muchdecorated Vietnam war veteran, blind, confined to a wheelchair and elderly, and his wife, whose sight was going too.
“The man wanted me to help him change clothes,” said Chris. “So as a first step, I knelt down and began to remove his socks. One was a bit difficult to get off and so I gave it an extra tug – and fell backwards in the room as his leg parted company with his body.
“I just lay there holding this lower leg, which had come away below the knee. It was one of the most bizarre experiences I’ve ever had.
“When he realised what had happened, the man couldn’t stop laughing. He didn’t know I was unaware he had a false leg. I assumed he was in the wheelchair because he was paralysed.
“In fact he had two prosthetic legs. He’d lost his own when he stepped on a landmine. They were attached to him by velcro and he took the other one off for me himself so I could change the sock.
“But that wasn’t the worst of it really. After I’d changed him, I put the prosthetics back on, but in a bit of a fluster, I put them on the wrong legs.
“I saw him being pushed down the corridor and both his little toes were on the inside. I was mortified. I managed to catch up with him to apologise but he just thought it was hilarious. He was a great bloke.”
Chris, who is currently plying his trade for special guests at Stanbrook Abbey, Worcestershire’s multi-million pound events centre at Callow End, turned to being a butler after taking his City and Guilds in catering and spending four years in restaurant room service at one of Manchester’s leading hotels.
He then joined P&O and went to sea because he wanted to see the world. And see the world he did, working the Caribbean, Alaska, Pacific Circle, Mediterranean, Australasia and the Panama Canal.
He began as a bar steward – “the lowest of the low, fetching and carrying” – and worked his way up to captain’s wine steward, responsible for the drinks side of all the major functions and occasions on the grand cruise ship Crown Princess.
The liner then introduced a Grand Class Gold Butler Service to provide its most valued customers in the state rooms with an extra layer of supreme attention and Chris was the top of the tree.
The passengers were mostly American, frequently millionaires and occasionally billionaires. Often in the jewellery trade, they knew how to spend money. Which was handy, because a proportion of Chris’s income was from tips and Americans also know how to tip.
“I think it’s a culture thing,” he said. “But Americans will tip when British people won’t. Americans appreciate if you’ve gone the extra mile. Theirs is a very serviceorientated society and they will naturally reward good service. By comparison, the British are lousy tippers.”
Talking to him, you can pick up on some of the secrets of the butler’s trade, like you begin ironing a shirt by starting with the front pocket side and working around.
The best way to polish a pair of shoes is to dot the polish around the shoe with a pastry brush and then spread it across the shoe with a brush. Never apply with a cloth, because that means you have a concentration of polish in one area and always brush off before the polish is dry.
You learn the best shoe polishers in the world are the shoe-shiners who work the streets and subways of New York –“they come across so many different types of leather they know exactly the best way to deal with each” – and the best clothes pressers are Phillipino laundry workers.
“Some say the Chinese are best, but I reckon the Phillipinos are better,” said Chris.
As a butler on board the Crown Princess, he would tactfully advise guests on the dress code for all the ship’s main functions, whether formal, casual or semi-casual, so they always felt suitably attired and turned out.
Of course, hiring a butler doesn’t come cheap and his expert guidance and sophisticated services cost just under £300 a day at Stanbrook Abbey. And I’m certainly not pulling your leg.
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