AN overseas paradise can swiftly descend into a living hell if you’re unlucky enough to fall ill on holiday.

The only way my Nile cruise could have got any worse was if the boat sank – but at least it would have put me out of my misery.

Try savouring the myriad wonders of ancient Egypt while projectile vomiting on a tour bus or spending days on end hunched over a cruise ship toilet.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse and I disembarked for some sightseeing in the city of Luxor some toothless old soul scuttled out of the shadows of a flith-ridden flea market and tried to sell me a goat’s head.

By this stage I was a permanent shade of almost luminous green.

Somehow I managed to refrain from showering him with sick.

By the time I reached the Valley of the Kings I was pretty much begging someone to wall me up in one of the tombs.

So it was no surprise to me that cruises were top of the premier league of shame for holiday destinations published by law firm Irwin Mitchell. And it was even less of a surprise when Egypt and her Pharaoh’s curse came second.

Travel law experts at the national firm have published their annual register of the five worst holiday destinations which may prompt some holidaymakers to re-think their summer plans.

The Irwin Mitchell report names and shames the holiday hotspots which have proved most problematic in the last year based on the number of reported cases of illness among British tourists and requests for help to the firm’s international travel team.

Sailing to the top of the complaints list were cruises, after making their first appearance in the report last year in second place.

They now comprise almost a third (32 per cent) of all complaints of illness to Irwin Mitchell because of the amount of widespread outbreaks of illness on large cruise liners.

Egypt (20 per cent) moves back up to second place in the list after being third last year, with Turkey (17 per cent) dropping to third place after spending two years as undisputed holiday horror hotspot.

The final two spots on the list remain the same, with family favourite Spain and its islands (13 per cent) again coming in fourth, and the Dominican Republic (seven per cent) completing the top five for the second consecutive year.

Just outside the top five are Tunisia which has not previously been ranked, along with Cuba and Mexico.

Clive Garner, head of Irwin Mitchell’s travel law team, said: “Although in the past we have seen countries dropping in and out of the complaints list, this year’s top five suggests that the main offenders from last year are still not doing enough to clean up their act. It is very worrying to see the same five holiday destinations topping the complaints charts again this year. These five destinations make up almost 90 per cent of requests for help that we receive and it is imperative that action is taken urgently by tour operators and cruise line operators to improve standards and reduce the risk of holidaymakers becoming ill on holiday.

“I am also concerned to see another increase in the number of complaints involving cruises, which did not even feature in our report until last year and yet now encompass almost a third of all complaints.

“The underlying causes of illness across these cases is a failure to implement reasonable standards of health, safety, and hygiene.

“Our major concern is that although these problems are being highlighted time and again, not enough is being done to rectify them. We have many clients that have contracted very serious and in some cases potentially fatal illnesses, including Salmonella, Legionnaire’s Disease and E-Coli, while on holiday. This is unacceptable and tour operators must take responsibility for their guests’ welfare.”