PICTURE the firm's annual do. The poached salmon has slipped down a treat, a glass or two has lubricated the conversation... then suddenly, the DJ stops playing all that modern rubbish and Jeff Beck's Hi-Ho Silver Lining hits the turntable with a thump-thump-thump.

Cue rush for the dancefloor as the accounts department leaves the dining tables en masse and starts boogie-ing with a vengeance.

We all know this hardy perennial, and indeed, some may have even played air guitar by way of accompaniment. In fact, love it or loathe it, the ace guitarist's two-and-a-half minute musical feast of frivolity is now part of our folklore.

Its latest incarnation now appears in the guise of a football World Cup anthem, with new lyrics penned by members of a Worcester rock band called Blind Granny's Taxi Nightmare, a name that has apparently been inspired by an unknown Worcester News headline writer. With appropriately adapted words, band members hope that Beck's immortal tune will not only be a winner on the terraces, but also gain no small degree of national recognition. Indeed, connoisseurs of composition and syntax at the Worcester News have examined the lyrics and judged that the verses display an unusually advanced construction and poetic meter.

We therefore have every confidence that this delightful ditty will - to employ modern parlance - soon be racing to the top of the pop charts and become the signature tune for England's brave boys when they step out on to the turf this June.