IN the pub the other night, we were discussing the greatest invention ever. Now the Barmaid's Bosom is not usually the place for highly intellectual conversation, but it was more than interesting to hear what folks thought had changed the world.

I offered the internet, but there were some who were not aware what the internet did. Electric Ted thought it was the European Police Force - mind, he probably thought Interpol was a paint remover.

Television, penicillin, the wheel, writing, flush toilets! Honest. This reminded me of an old chap and his wife in our village who shall remain nameless. They lived in a tumbledown cottage, in fact it did tumble down just after they left it for a brand new council bungalow.

In the old house, the water had come from a pump up the garden and the toilet was... not far from the pump up the garden.

I recall meeting 'Jim' in the pub one night and asked how he was getting on in the new house.

"Brilliant" he said. "How you getting on with running water and the like?" I enquired. "Brilliant, we flushes the toilet once a day before we goes to bed, and we haves us a bath every Sunday, whether we wants to or not."

Talking of smelly folks, there was another old boy who I never-ever saw without his wellies on.

He rode a motor bike all round our village and even into Wuzter, but he always had his wellies on, even in the middle of the summer. Was he expecting bad weather or just didn't have any other footwear?

We have international rugby at Sixway tonight, when England play Wales at Under-21 level, and at a tenner to get in I reckon it could be a good night out.

There were some tickets left when I wrote this - if you are at a loose end why not pitch up? Talking of rugby, well done to Droitwich RFC. who provide free soup on a cold day. I went to the movies this week, as I have got out of the habit of going. The film was Munich, which I very much enjoyed, couple of bits that could be criticised, but all in all, a good film. I went to see it at Malvern and it set me thinking of all the little towns that used to have cinemas. Not may towns the size of Malvern have cinemas these days, so I reckon they are well worth patronising, and it's cheaper at Malvern than at some of the bigger ones. I always remember the cinema in Bromyard that had a tin roof. When it rained you struggled to hear the film.