You know the other day I told you I was on a diet.

Well, the first week I had to have this test where you eat everything.

So having said I was on a diet I walked into the cake shop, where I was told by the lady behind the counter that I was on a diet!

Anyway the first week went very well, and I have lost quite a lot, but there's a long way to go.

It's all in the mind... dieting.

On Monday I was out and about and we had a nine course meal. Honestly, nine courses, but what you have to do is get out and burn the calories off after. It's all about getting a balance.

Talking of balance, I ventured into the Barmaid's Bosom, our local pub, on Saturday evening, where most of the regulars are far from balanced.

Gathered there were the usual gang, including 'Ratty' Morris, so called because he used to catch rats, nothing to do with his temper... although I'm not sure, come to think of it.

Well, Ratty was going off about' Brumbies' as he calls them, he means Brummies, not Australian donkeys.

"Them lot from Burningham" is how Ratty describes them, "They'm be a ****** nuisance" he told us .

"They bin across me meadows and left the ******* gates open, and all me ship bin un got out".

Now we happen to know that Ratty's fences are about as useful as a tupperware saucepan, so we started to interrogate him as to where his 'ship' had got out, when, and how.

We were able to deduce that they had, in fact, gone through a hole in the fence that Steve McQueen could have ridden his motorbike through in the Great Escape.

But Ratty would not have it. He insists the 'Brumbies' let them out. So, the next morning, Knocker Williams rings up Ratty, about eight o'clock when the old boy isn't really awake, and puts on a fake Brummie accent, saying it had been reported that Ratty was moaning about Brummies, and that he was going to sue him for defamation on behalf of the inhabitants of the City of Birmingham.

Ratty was taken aback by this and when he entered the Barmaids at lunch time on Sunday he was rather bashful and quiet.

After about half an hour Knocker puts on his fake accent again... and it still took Ratty 10 minutes to work out he'd been had. Oh, what fun in our local.

A couple of choir events to tell you about. Worcester Male Voice are in action tomorrow evening at St Martin's Church in London Road, all for the Rotary Club.

Then the Kidderminster boys are in action at the town hall. It's the 50th anniversary of the twinning so it should be a good night as well.

I won't be at either as I'm at Twickenham for the National Finals,. Another day out - have to watch what I eat! Ah well, back on the treadmill.