YOU must know the phrase "you learn something new every day".
I remember my grandad said: "If you don't learn something new every day it ain't worth getting out of bed".
How true that is.
When you reach my venerable age you think you know a lot but... you don't. This last week I learned that horse chestnuts are so called because they are big, not because horses used to eat them Did you know that?
I learned that kidney beans only grow up the poles a certain way.They twirl around as they follow the sun across the sky. I never knew that.
It can be, of course, that you might know too much. For instance.
in 1894, the president of the Royal Society, Lord Kelvin, predicted that radio had no future.
The first radio factory was opened five years later.
Today, there are more than one billion radio sets in the world, tuned to more than 33,000 radio stations around the world.
So what did he know?
There are, of course, know-alls.
I had the pleasure of sitting in a restaurant recently, listening to a man who knew all about everything, and spoke that little bit louder than anyone else. You've met them.
He went on about every subject in the world, regaling his three chums with tales of his adventures, where he went, what he saw, including the Sensational Alex Harvey Band. They did stuff in the 1960s and I did see them in Brum, in about '66. Things like I Just Wanna Make Love To You and Let The Good Times Roll.
Now, our man went on and on about them, so just as we were leaving I asked him how much he knew about the SAHB as they were known.
"Why?" he asked. "Because I was the drummer in the band for five years," was my reply. At that, I walked out with the know-all sat open-mouthed.
It was a blatant lie, but the point was for once, he shut up!
I wonder if he knew how to "row" a punt. Now, I know that's probably the wrong phrase, because you sort of pole a punt. Flat bottomed boat. Ten-foot pole. Impossible.
I could not get the hang of it. Ended up in the trees, hitting the riverbank, other boats. Anything but a straight line.
If you're asked to go punting... beware, and take a know-all with you.
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