TALKING of burning piles of fivers in order to keep municipal hands warm, newspapers reported this week that council tax has doubled since its introduction.

It's a complete mystery to me why councillors don't all walk around in three-cornered hats, masks and level braces of pistols. Dick Turpin's got nothing on them.

Of course, some things never change. So now let's talk about lovely, juicy punishment... New Labour style. Yummy!

Indeed, now that this country has decided to jail its impoverished elderly with impunity - yet do relatively little about the savages now controlling the streets - perhaps I should start to choose my words with a little more care.

For if an old man of 82 can be shoved around by Labour Party gauleiters and a woman in her 70s caged by some wretched, dreary magistrate, perhaps a police state is not that far away, after all.

Mind you, it's good to see that this country has an effective opposition at long last. Well done, Mr Wolfgang. But could your favourite columnist be next?