THE media is often littered with horrifying tales of dank and depressing care homes where the elderly are left, old and alone, to perish by themselves.

Many of us probably fear the day we find ourselves too frail and ill to cope in our own homes, and for some, having to live in a residential home is probably inevitable.

But with few people probably coming into contact with such homes during their lives, deciding which one is best for our loved ones can be baffling and worrying.

The Office of Fair Trading (OFT) has described choosing a nursing or residential home as a "major life decision" often made by the elderly and their families under difficult circumstances.

This statement was in response to a 10-month study carried out by the consumer watchdog Which? after the care home industry came under attack for suffering from a lack of information on pricing and access.

So what are the major considerations and kinds of questions we should be asking when seeking the best possible care home?

Derek Jones, chairman of the Worcestershire Association of Care Home Owners, said it can often be a daunting time.

"It can be confusing and if people haven't been in that position before it can be a bureaucratic minefield," said Mr Jones, proprietor of Henwick Grange Nursing Home in Hallow Road, Worcester.

"It's something that should take a lot of consideration and there's lots of advice out there, particularly from organisations such as Age Concern.

"My best advice is to go by word of mouth, ask for recommendations from family, friends, your GP or social workers.

"As soon as you walk through the doors of a potential home you'll tend to have a gut reaction as to whether it's the right place or not.

"Your nose, your eyes, your ears and ultimately your heart will tell you whether it's the right one or not.

"There's no point making a decision by only looking through a brochure.

"You could also turn up at meal times to see what the food is like, and talk to other people staying there to get an honest view."

Dr Anil Sobti, chief executive of Redditch-based Alpha Care Homes, said the most important factor to bear in mind was that "one size does not fit all" and what suits one person may not be right for the next.

"A good analogy would be choosing a holiday," he said. "One person might like to go and lie in the sun for a fortnight while another, who likes to ski and snowboard, would find a beach holiday their worst nightmare.

"Using this analogy, one would not go into a travel agent and pick the first holiday in the brochure.

"This decision is only for a couple of weeks a year, whereas choosing a care home could be for the rest of a person's life - so why would you literally go for the first home offered to you?

"Like many things, the best course of action for the person who needs care and their families or friends is to shop around, see what's available and what is best going to meet their needs and wishes.

"A little effort, careful planning and following these guidelines can go a long way to ensuring loved ones are well looked after and happy in their residential care."

HOW TO MAKE SURE YOU GET THE BEST RESIDENTIAL CARE

* Be prepared to travel further to visit your loved one in their care home if it means you can be confident they are being looked after well and are happy and comfortable in their environment.

*Don't be afraid of asking questions as a good, well run establishment should welcome the opportunity of telling the resident and their families about the services they offer and the level of care they can expect.

* Always ask if the home has a statement of purpose or mission statement, which should tell you something about the philosophy and standard of care of the home and the company running it.

* Ask for copies of their service users guide, the contract, fee structure and respite care details. A reputable home will have brochures telling you about the home, its facilities, and activities for the residents, catering standards and sample menus.

* Request copies of inspection reports which are regularly carried out by the Commission for Social Care Inspection (CSCI) as well as thank you letters from residents, families and friends and talk to social workers who regularly visit and have experience of the home and how it is run.

* Look around, ask to see more than one of the bedrooms and bathrooms.

* While you are there watch carefully to see how the staff interact with the residents and get a feel for the overall atmosphere of the home.

* Find out what qualifications the nursing and caring staff possess. Ideally the person in charge of a nursing home should be at least an RGN trained nurse holding the government approved Management Training Award.

* Ensure everyone working at the home has been properly vetted and checked by the police before being employed there.

* Ensure all the correct fire safety and evacuation procedures are in place and all the correct hygiene and safety aspects are up to standard and regularly monitored.

* Make sure they carry out a one-on-one assessment of the potential resident to determine their individual needs and offer them the chance to come and spend half a day at the home to ensure they like the surroundings and all the facilities on offer.

* Ask if they can move in with personal items, perhaps their favourite items of furniture to make it more homely.

* Check to see whether there is a varied choice of food each day, whether special dietary needs are catered for, what the laundry services are and what the visiting hours are.

* Some homes allow certain pets or at least animal visits and this can make such a difference for an elderly person who has always had animals around them.

* Local amenities are also a consideration such as village shops, hairdressers, chiropodists and places of worship for different religions and denominations.

* Always make sure you are happy with the contract. If in doubt, get a solicitor to check the contract before you sign and that the fee and payment structure is clear.