The Human Face, by Brian Bates with John Cleese (BBC, £19.99)

PERFECT. What better choice than the Minister For Silly Walks to co-author this tome devoted to the subject of the human countenance?

Yes, Britain's favourite lunatic has teamed up with his straight man Dr Bates and aided and abetted by Elizabeth Hurley (who-she?) the mysteries of the old fizz are explored in remarkable depth.

As tiny babies we are drawn to faces. As soon as we are born, we prefer to gaze at faces more than any other object. Our fascination with them is inborn and persists throughout our lives.

We fall in love with people we find beautiful and are endlessly intrigued with the faces of the famous. Brad Pitt, Madonna, Cindy Crawford... three icons picked at random, yet, in their own way, typical examples of the eternal lure of the visage.

Divided into six chapters, and illustrated with 400 stunning photographs, the book takes the reader on a journey of self-discovery. For a start, why do we have a face? How did the face develop?

Some statistics. There are six billion human faces on Earth and every one is unique. There are seven basic emotions connected with universally recognised facial movements, yet we are capable of making up to about 7,000 different expressions.

Beauty. Is it in the eye of the beholder? Are notions of beauty universal through time and place? What is the link between beauty and sexual attractiveness?

Enough. The time has come for the authors to take you by the hand and lead you down the corridors of our very being...

John Phillpott.