WHEN Scott Barrow looks at himself in the mirror he must still wonder what if.
What if St Helens had kept him, what if he had played a part in the title decider at Leeds earlier this month and what if he stays on at Worcester for next season.
The 20-year-old already has a vast amount of experience for such a young lad and talks with the authority of someone beyond his years. In the space of just four months at Worcester his stock has risen to such an extent that he is now arguably their most prized asset as the nitty gritty of contractual negotiations begin.
"My agent is talking to Worcester at the moment about a new contract," he said. "There are a couple of other options but I would like to stay where I am and have another crack at promotion next year."
The skilful centre who arrived at Sixways back in November after his hometown club St Helens let him go, has made quite an impression since his union debut in January. He is a priceless commodity in rugby, a talented English youngster who is quite prepared to graft, to dig in when the going gets tough.
He is a player with his roots inextricably linked with St Helens, ploughing his trade down south in a code alien to the Knowsley Road faithful. And on Saturday, you could forgive him for wondering just which direction his career is heading in. For, as he plays on the trampled ground at Birmingham & Solihull in an anti-climatic end of season affair, his former team-mates will be lining up at Twickenham for the Challenge Cup final.
"I've just spoken to Paul Wellens on the telephone and it would be great to go down to Twickenham because St Helens is where I'm from and the club is what I knew from 16. However, I'm down here now and I've got a job to do for Worcester."
Barrow's employment future, though, is far from certain at present. Worcester would dearly love to keep him but, after blowing promotion this season following the April 1 defeat at Leeds, there is still much talking to be done. This week saw the departure of his centre partner Rudi Keil as the South African returned home after less than a season at Sixways. In the coming weeks, England prospect Andy Higgins is also likely to move on after a number of Premiership clubs came knocking. Worcester coach Adrian Skeggs has also voiced concerns about losing star full-back Sateki Tuipulotu after missing out on the National One title. It is an important time for the club and one which could shape their future one way or the other for the next couple of years.
"There are a few offers from rugby league at the moment but we will see what happens. I am happy at Worcester and we just have to make sure things are right. I hope we keep the nucleus of players we have at present because my ambition is to get in the Premiership and I'm sure that is what the club wants. To do that we need to keep our best players at the club.
"I obviously want to play at the top level in rugby union now I've made the switch. I am ambitious and want to go as far as possible. Everybody wants to be involved in the present England set-up and I think that is why you are seeing more players come into union."
Barrow burst onto the union scene for Worcester on his January debut against Henley Hawks. The former half-back stole the show with a stunning display and he was at it again on Saturday, taking control in the 43-17 win over Moseley. However, the campaign has been tinged with frustration for him after missing out on the crunch clash in Yorkshire. Barrow, who failed to make the starting line-up, was desperate to play some part in the game and admitted the loss was a hard one to swallow.
"I've never really had to deal with such a defeat. You could see the dejection in the players faces and the supporters and it was horrible. Most of the time was very successful at St Helens - we never really had to go through defeat like that.
"I was extremely disappointed not to play because I thought I could have made a difference to the result. I thought we needed to change things around in the second half but it is all in the past now."
His release from St Helens is still one that rankles. Snapped up by the Super League giants when he was 16, all he had ever dreamt of was playing for the club, the only club. A fabulous four years followed for Barrow as championship and cup successes flowed.
However, by November last year, the club decided that the squad player was a luxury they could no longer afford.
"The hierarchy upstairs decided that they did not have the money so I had to go. I was gutted at the time because St Helens meant everything to me.
"I lived 300 yards from the club, was brought up in the town and many of my friends followed me into rugby league. Five of us, including my brother and Paul Wellens, all used to play together and lived in the same street. We used to get up in the morning, walk to training and walk back home together - we were all good friends.
"They were nice times but I've had to move on since then."
Move on he did but then had to watch on as St Helens became 'World Champions' earlier this year with a 20-18 win over the Brisbane Broncos.
"It was a bit strange. I had mixed emotions really as on one hand it was good to watch because it was nice to see your friends doing well but on the other hand, you wanted to be part of it."
The priority for Worcester now is to make sure he is part of their future. With the prospect of losing Higgins, they must pull out all the stops to ensure Barrow does not return to his league roots. If they fail, the club can have no complaints if they are second best next time around.
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