LONG, long ago when homosapiens were still wet behind the ears and the WI dabbled in cream teas rather than the strip variety, and a period when professional footballers put the ball in the net with an air of "Oh heck, it was nothing. I really couldn't see anywhere else to put it. Me Aunty Mabel could have flicked it in with a corner of the Radio Times whilst knitting a cardy for Uncle Bob", television was still in nappies and the populace relied on good old steam radio for its home entertainment, the BBC in all its wisdom decided to hold a contest entitled 'Write a tune for £1,000' and the winning hit number was called Cruising Down the River on a Sunday Afternoon.

Come, come, I can hear you say, what is all this blather leading up to? Well if you must know, by the wildest coincidence, the Malvern Wells Village Hall Management Committee (just try saying that with a mouthful of sherry trifle) have come up with just that - a Sunday afternoon cruise lasting two hours, departing Riverside Walk, Tewkesbury at 3pm returning at 5pm. So it's all aboard the Pride of Avon on Sunday, June 17, light refreshments and drinks from the bar are available. Dress of course is optional, although a smart yachting cap at a saucy angle would not be frowned on but as timbers will not be shivered on this trip, shoulder parrots may be sported only if accompanied by an eye patch, peg leg and an atrocious accent. So if you fancy something nautical but nice, join us for what promises to be a pleasant afternoon.

Tickets £6 available from Barbara Savery (01684) 562904 or Brian Davis (01684) 569776. The fund raising group will try to arrange lifts from Malvern Wells to Tewkesbury for those lacking transport. Please enquire when buying your ticket.

Barbara Savery who has hosted her 'Tea Club' for several years now feels that she can no longer devote the time and is seeking somebody to continue this little social event. The tea club meets once a month for tea and cakes amid light hearted banter, with discussions guaranteed not to bring down governments or start revolutionary wars. They also organise day trips to places of interest. So if you think you would like to don the mantle (or tea cosy) please give Barbara a ring on (01684) 562904.