THE Squire of Knotty Ash, King of the Diddymen, photographic model and failed accountant took Kidderminster by storm.

"This is the first time I've worked in MFI" he told a capacity audience. He promised to let them out early for buses to park overnight but the show, from the first '"how tickled I am" to the last "tatty bye", lasted an amazing five hours.

Not much escaped the sharper end of the famous tickling stick including the Harriers (bet they're looking forward to playing the likes of Mansfield and Lincoln) and Jan Molby (the only Dane with a Scouse accent - no one understands him in Denmark).

The Shuttle earned praise for its ability to withstand salt and vinegar.

Audience participation is a must and Ken's manic hairstyle and flexible eyebrows went beserk when Mary from Malvern confided she liked to sleep up against the wall. Another brave soul confessed she was a Virgo (not from where I'm standing, missus). Much of the mirth was reserved for his run-in with the Inland Revenue (Self assessment? They pinched that idea from me.)

Tears for Souvenirs could have descended into schmaltz but Doddy took a sly look at his watch and moved swiftly on. There's only time for laughter in a Happiness Show. DG