WHO could honestly blame Gerardo Melillo for digging his heels in after being told that a homemade cross on a grave he tends in Norton's St James' churchyard is "inappropriate" and must be removed.

On the balance of evidence so far, we think the Church - the establishment - is being heavy-handed and insensitive.

In its determination to be regulatory, it has also lost sight of the part which a grave plays for some in the never-ending grieving process.

The Rev Donald Sloggett, the vicar of St James', makes the point that all graves belong to the Church and that, as such, memorials are allowed as a privilege, not a right.

It's important to emphasise that his hands are tied, and to say that he's shown a human touch apparently missing from the rulebook by opening his door to Mr Melillo.

Nevertheless, the fact that the rule exists does nothing for the Church's dwindling connection with the people in the early 21st Century. A change in philosophy is long overdue.

Thousands of readers will have seen the mementoes which adorn graves in Orthodox cemeteries. They speak volumes about the departed and the mark they made on the lives of those left behind.

There are extremes which will always be out of place in a churchyard, of course. Scale and proportion are vital, above all. One grave should not detract from another.

However, for argument's sake, if a brightly-coloured plastic windmill, or a favourite toy or ornament, helps the bereaved come to terms with their loss, what right has anyone - the Church above all - to deny or interfere with that comfort.