The Marrying Man

But before you put that call in to the News of the World, let me reassure you that none of the weddings in question was his own.

As a superintendent registrar he has officiated at between 500 and 700 civil weddings a year during his decade at York Register Office. But his own marriage to a fellow registrar who he met while working in his home city of Manchester was held, not without a touch of irony, in a church.

"Well, we couldn't have a register office do could we? It would have been like going to work," he said with a laugh.

Rob has been in the marriage business for 20 years. He was originally a trainee manager at a catalogue company before dropping out for a year when boredom got the better of him. Then he saw an ad for a deputy additional registrar.

"I didn't really know what that meant," he said, "but it mentioned dealing with births, marriages and deaths and I thought it sounded really interesting. Thankfully I wasn't wrong."

In the early days his job involved everything from congratulating new parents while registering the birth of their baby to consoling grieving families while registering their loved one's death. Now however he admits to keeping the "good stuff" for himself, and the good stuff in question is performing civil marriage ceremonies.

And performing really is the right word. "You have to be easygoing and confident enough to stand up in front of people without getting stage fright," Rob explained. "It's especially important now because, since the rules changed in 1995, people can get married at any number of approved venues and that usually means a bigger audience for the registrar to play to."

In the first year after the marriage laws changed he officiated at 46 weddings at approved venues like the Treasurer's House and The Merchant Adventurers' Hall. Last year that figure rose to 207 and is still rising.

"Alternative venues are becoming more and more popular but they will never take over from the register office itself," said Rob. "You've just got to consider the financial element - £37.50 is pretty difficult to beat."

But what do you get for your money? Well, that is really down to the individuals involved. There are some parts of the ceremony that have to be said by law, but other than that the couple can choose if they want the long or the short version, and if they want to include readings, poetry or music.

"All people have to really bear in mind is that we set aside half an hour for each ceremony, or an hour if it's outside the office, otherwise it's their wedding and they can choose how they want it to go," said Rob. "Although the couple who made us all listen to a Shania Twain CD maybe should have taken some advice."

One of the most surprising features of York Register Office is its beautiful garden tucked neatly away at the back. This provides the perfect backdrop for photographs and gives couples the chance to take in their new-found status as man and wife with their family and friends without being jostled on the stairs by the next bride and groom on the day's list.

"We are busy and we often do 10 weddings on a busy summer Saturday, but we go out of our way to ensure that couples don't feel they are on a conveyor belt," said Rob. "We treat everyone as individuals and make it clear that every marriage is important in its own right."

In some ways the work of the registrar has not changed much since it began in 1837. Their prime purpose is still to register births, marriages and deaths - and they still do it in good old pen and ink. But in other ways times are definitely changing.

Register offices will soon be introducing baby naming ceremonies as a civil alternative to church christenings; they are also considering introducing a ceremony for the reaffirmation of vows; and it is even possible that registrars could soon be called on to perform civil funeral services.

"That might not exactly sound like fun," said Rob, "but at the end of the day we are here to help people at all the major points in their life and that includes death as well as birth and marriage."

Practical matters

If you want to get married at York Register Office, whether you live in the district itself or outside its boundaries, the procedure is simple. All you have to do is phone 01904 654477 between 8.30am and 5pm, Monday to Friday.

You can provisionally arrange the day and the time of your marriage over the phone up to 18 months in advance of the date. This booking will be confirmed in writing by the office within seven days (if you book between 12-18 months in advance).

The Confirmation Letter will state: the date and time of your marriage; the date you should attend to give legal notice of your intention to marry; where you should attend to give the legal notice (for couples living outside of York); the fee for the notice; and any documents you may be required to produce

Legal notice can be given a maximum of 12 months in advance of the date of the marriage but the provisional booking system has been introduced to allow couples plenty of time to make other arrangements such as the reception safe in the knowledge that the time of the ceremony is assured.

Any marriage that takes place anywhere other than the Church of England requires the bride and groom to attend their local register office to give notice of their intention to marry.

To complete this formal process correctly:

you must both have lived in a registration district of England or Wales for a minimum of seven days immediately before giving notice

you must give notice a maximum of 12 months and a minimum of 15 days in advance of your marriage.

you must both attend to give notice and this should be done by appointment only.

Money, money, money

Well, you knew it had to come sooner or later, didn't you?

The fee to give notice is set nationally by the Registrar General and is currently £30 each. It costs £37.50 to marry at a register office in England and Wales (£34 for the ceremony + £3.50 for the certificate). And finally, if you want the ceremony to take place at another approved venue, like a hotel or stately home, it will set you back between £250 and £290.