Nat Sylvester's City Slicker column

THERE are some things in life that don't bare too much close scrutiny because if you dig too deeply the illusion would shatter.

One example is Big Ron Atkinson. Dripping in gold and chucking out more one liners than Daniella Westbrook on holiday in Colombia, Big Ron has coined a collection of football phrases that are out of this world.

In Big Ron Speak we get the reducer, the sold him a lollipop, done him a daisy, took him to the dry cleaners and an assortment of phrases to describe what's happening on the football pitch.

Of course really he doesn't haven't a clue what he's talking about -- he's just an enthusiastic bloke who loves football and for the TV viewer that's good enough -- we don't need to understand him as well.

Personally I've got a love-hate relationship with the bloke -- I find myself hurling abuse at the screen because of some of his comments because they're just so Big Ron but by the same token I wouldn't want anyone in his place.

The big European nights are nothing without the ex-Villa manager and his Lingua Ron.

He's worth his weight in gold (in fact he wears his weight in gold) and long may he continue to sparkle in the commentary box.

Which in a roundabout way brings me round to referees who like Big Ron are indispensable but have the capacity to enrage.

Hereford official Andy Williams was jeered off the St George's Lane pitch at the weekend by a crowd incensed at his display -- in Big Ron Speak he had a wobble.

Which brings me to the question why do referees want to subject themselves to all that hassle?

More than that why do they even want to be referees in the first place? Why not play, spectate, ramble, take up skittles -- anything but referee.

It's a thankless task that if you're lucky gets you a small pat on the back but at worst sees hundreds of fans throw abuse at you and want to string you up from the nearest lamppost.

Anyone who wants to become a referee should be checked into an institution for psychiatric evaluation. They must be nuts.

But then again without these much maligned creatures who would officiate our matches, who would we shout at and ridicule on a Saturday afternoon?

There is already a shortage of referees nationally and with incidents such as that on Saturday it's easy to see why.

We may not like, respect or even understand referees but we have to learn to tolerate them.

The bottom line is that like Big Ron we can't actually do without these people - even the bad ones.

After all if they ceased to exist who would fans actually blame if their side lost -- the team?