BY their very nature, graveyards are gloomy old places. They don't see much laughter, but a lot of tears, although this need not necessarily be so.

I certainly don't want anyone crying at my funeral. Unless it's the bank manager because I haven't cleared the overdraft!

Seriously though, a lot can be done these days to brighten up the graveside or at least make the plot a little more relevant to the person buried there.

Gone are the days when all memorials were in white marble with black lettering.

They look lovely in hot countries, but we don't get enough sun here to keep them bleached and they end up looking grubby, said Elaine Bullock.

She is a lady who should know, because her career has been sitting down with families and deciding what sort of memorial they want on their relatives' graves.

Not everyone's cup of tea, but someone needs to do it and Elaine positively oozes enthusiasm.

People just don't realise what's available," she exclaimed.

If the following makes a complete mockery of the goings-on in Norton churchyard, near Worcester, where bureaucratic Herberts have been castigating well-meaning relatives for putting little stone crosses and the wrong sort of borders" on graves, so be it.

Because the reality is far more exotic than that.

Of course you need to bear in mind that the rules governing public cemeteries and private churchyards are rather different, but compassionate logic tells you there ought to be a way of personalising resting places.

We are not all the same and neither should they be.

I think it's much better if they reflect the character of the individual, said Elaine. That way they mean much more to relatives and friends.

They look kinder somehow. Not so rigid and sanitised.

This is particularly true of children's memorials. A teddy bear or a favourite toy placed by the little grave makes it special.

You can even have the Teletubbies or there are always the classics like Tigger or Winnie the Pooh.

At this point the puritans have probably had a fit, but I press on.

One particularly impressive memorial for a young girl with a love of nature was engraved with a beautiful 3D mural in blue and white showing two dolphins leaping out of the sea.

It was accompanied by the words, Now you can swim with your dolphins. How much better than Here lies.

Photographs, especially of children, are becoming more popular on memorials, Elaine added.

We can have a favourite picture transferred to a porcelain plaque and again this really gives a special touch.

Her involvement with the memorial business goes right back to her own young days.

My father had a job delivering coffins and I remember as a six-year-old tomboy going with him on his rounds.

I used to make dolls dresses out of the material used for the linings!"

However, it was around 20 years ago, when Elaine answered an advert for 20 hours' a week book-keeping for a flower shop, that she became involved full time.

The shop had an association with a memorial business and Elaine, who now runs Astwood Memorials, in Worcester, was hooked.

I find it brings out the best in me. I get a lot of job satisfaction sitting down with people deciding how best to remember their loved ones.

I know it wouldn't be everyone's ideal, but I love it, especially as there is so much choice these days.

People don't know that and I get a thrill from telling them what is possible.

When I started there were about five traditional headstone designs and most of the writing was black.

A lot was white marble, but now 90 per cent of memorials are in granite. You can get some lovely colours, like deep greens, reds or blues. There is even a salmon pink!

Gone are the days when a cemetery was lines of graves topped by books, books, books.

Now you can have memorials to golfers, fishermen, cricketers and footballers, to mention only a few.

Little lamps that can be lit at night are particularly popular on children's graves.

And so it goes on.

One of the most unusual designs Elaine has been asked for was a 3ft guitar.

Having seen a similar one, the family are currently mulling over the idea.

Thinking about it, there is no reason at all why graveyards should be gloomy old places.

Respectful, yes, nostalgic, certainly, but dour, no. Although you might like to draw the line at multi-coloured flashing lights.