Is a mere modicum of respect too much to expect?

This form of greeting in such a hostelry took me completely by surprise. And no, just in case you're wondering, this is not about snobbery. I've mixed with people from all walks of life, enjoyed the company of rich and poor, high and low, from pop star to priests.

Some of the worst-behaved people I've ever met have been fabulously rich. The question of birth doesn't come into it.

In fact, social intercourse harbours no hidden secrets that could possibly bother me. But, call me quaint and old-fashioned, I must say if I'm paying hiked-up prices in a bar, I want different treatment than that meted out in a spit-and-sawdust.

So I don't want "mate" any more than "sir", thank you.

When I say "hiked-up" what I really mean is a tariff that just stops short of extortion, still within the law, but marked up by someone with a keen sense of the outrageous.

Bearing that in mind, this is why I would like a bit more than "yes mate, what can I do for you?" wheezed with a distinct lack of conviction from behind a Benson and Hedges dog-end.

True, I'm prepared to pay a bit over the odds for a pint of beer - as long as it's vat-conditioned - but only if I know that by paying more I'm also receiving the benefit of a superior drinking environment.

If it's a toss-up between quaffing fizzy pap in a bar full of morons and their revolting offspring, I'd rather plump for a couple of cans at home, every time. And, if paying over the odds means discouraging badly-behaved people, then yes, let's search down the back of the settee for that extra 30p.

But if that's what's expected, I'd also like something else, too. It's called civility.

Manners cost nothing. And if hotels can't or won't realise this, then they deserve to lose custom. I'm not prepared to name the particular one that gave me such a lack-lustre greeting, but if the cap fits, then be my guest and wear it, pal.

There again, you could employ a consultant who will charge an extortionate fee to say what you should know already.

For it's not true to say you only get what you pay for. In some establishments, people are definitely being short-changed when it comes to polite behaviour. And manners maketh man, remember?

This is a commodity that appears to be in short supply these days. And its demise reflects the general decline in politeness throughout society in general.

The sad old trendies may like to pretend that bad or indifferent behaviour's not a problem, or may even be "cool". But they must know in their hearts that polite, friendly attitudes are preferable to the grunts and oinks that are routinely served up in some areas of the service industry.

There is nothing repressive, reactionary or Blimpish in expecting - or even demanding - better conduct from those around us. For those who wish to reach for the switch marked "denial", that's fine. Just don't expect the rest of us to tag along.

However, there is one area of our commercial life where standards have improved beyond recognition in recent times, and that's shops. From the lowliest commercial enterprise to the greatest chain store, the level of customer care has improved in leaps and bounds over the last few years.

Once, you went into a shop only to be met by a surly teenager who couldn't tell the difference between cake mix and toothpaste. Within recent memory, the shop assistant made you feel that your arrival at the counter was merely an irritating interruption of the far more pressing business of applying nailfile to fingertip.

Thankfully, the service sector woke up at some stage and realised that there wouldn't be a service sector if it did do just that and serve. Service should not be a dirty word - all who work must provide it to a greater or lesser extent. No one is exempt.

Whether it's a tyre-fitter, fishmonger, TV rental company or newspaper office, the same applies. Contrary to cliche, the customer is invariably wrong - but therein lies the challenge.

For even if diplomacy must be conducted through gritted teeth, the effort can be worthwhile, regardless of whether the punter is left confused at the end of it. The thing is that we all must make the effort in defiance of the halfwit/bore anchored at the other end of the line.

For, in the scheme of things, it is a small price to pay in a world that grows more gross and vulgar by the minute. You only have to walk down Worcester's High Street or along Angel Place to realise that an entire generation of parents and teachers has failed in instilling even the most basic behavioural skills.

This has happened because guidance has become a dirty word. Readers may remember a chronically-failed school where the hopelessly deluded headteacher decided correcting children was nothing less than a repressive act.

No wonder youngsters lose the plot in a society riddled with such neurosis and self-doubt.

Of course, there are those who can recall when politeness was the norm. And there may indeed be little hope of returning to a society based on respect and civility, but it's worth remembering that all of us lose when the bastions of good behaviour become eroded.

I can accept that the world has changed, and that men no longer wear trilby hats that they doff whenever a woman walks into the room or passes by on the street. And I realise that the gentleman will probably never again walk on the outside of the pavement to prevent the carriage wheels splashing the lady's crinoline.

But, if those days are well and truly gone, I'd like to think that one more frontier remains inviolate - the sedate ambience of a top-notch hotel bar. For I will never cease to baulk at paying inflated prices in a posh place just for some spotty Herbert of a barman to say: "All right mate, what can I do you for?"

You see, I'm not his mate and never could be. For if I'm paying that little bit extra, then I want that little bit extra, too. The increased mark-up is, as far as I'm concerned, my payment for additional service.

Nothing more, and nothing less.