HE may not wear breeches any more but the British gentleman is not dead. In fact he is alive and well and heralding in a new age of romance.

According to a new survey, British men are content to just hold hands on a first date and like women, rate a sense of humour over physical attributes.

It seems that despite having grown up in a more relaxed age than any other, modern men are more like Mr Darcy than Mr Nasty.

Milkshake company FRijj asked 1,000 18-30 year-old men and women what they considered to be the rules of the 21st Century dating etiquette.

Contrary to expectations, lads of today turned out to be more chivalrous than one would expect. Sixty-four per cent of men thought it inappropriate to go beyond holding hands on a first date and just 7 per cent said they would sleep with a woman on a first date.

Psychotherapist Brett Kahr says the survey is proof of good old-fashioned gallantry.

"Despite being subjected to increasing levels of sexual imagery - via TV, film, advertising and now the internet - we're increasingly adopting the sexual behaviour you'd expect from an older generation. Clearly British men remain romantics at heart."

The findings were also surprising in men's attitudes to looks. When deciding to ask a girl on a date, more than half said a sense of humour was the most single important attribute, followed by a pretty face, which took 27 per cent of the votes. And only 2 per cent nominated breast size as the most important factor in the decision.

Again Kahr thinks this shows a more mature attitude to sex.

"Although we live in an age obsessed with appearance, in the real world it's not how we look that counts, but how we act that proves the clincher in the love stakes."

But not everyone is as willing to take the 21st gentleman at face value. Alex Bilmes, features editor of GQ magazine, thinks physical attraction will always be important to men - gentleman or not.

"Appearance has always been important and always will be, especially the initial attraction."

Indeed, the survey showed that certain stereotypes about appearance are alive and well. Forty seven per cent of British blokes regard blondes as the easiest conquest, followed by sultry brunettes who came in second at 32 per cent. In contrast fiery redheads are perceived to be the toughest challenge, with only 6 per cent of males nominating redheads as the easiest to charm.

And Bilmes is also cynical of the modern gentleman's attitude to sex. In fact he thinks choosing when to get intimate is no measure of a true gentleman.

"Not having sex on the first date does not make you a gentleman, that is just unlucky. It is more about being well mannered, sensitive and thinking about other people."

If this is the case then it seems the 21st Century gentleman is flourishing, lad culture is over and popular idols are Will Young and Gareth Gates, rather than Noel and Liam Gallagher.

"The lad culture is dead and has been for a couple of years. Oasis, Irvine Welsh, football hooliganism and Jamie Oliver cookery are all over. It was a fashion, a passing fad of boys playing at being oafs."

Bilmes admits that some men can be boorish but most are polite and well-mannered.

"Blokes may be wearing council estate chic but they will still hold doors open, mind their ps and qs in front of the parents and know how to hold a knife and fork properly."

Furthermore, in the 21st Century the concept of the gentleman has developed. "It is about dressing well, looking after yourself, being interested and interesting."

Even when it comes to making the break, the majority of British blokes prefer to do the decent thing and break the news in person. Thirty six per cent claim they always end a relationship face to face.

But for a minority, modern technology is providing an embarrassment-free escape route. One in 10 admit to dumping a partner via e-mail or text message. But psychologist and author of the Dating Survival Guide (Robson Books £6.99), Dr Pam Spurr, is not fooled by any gentlemanly veneer.

She thinks that because men are more reserved does not mean they are gentlemen - they are simply confused by the modern dating game.

"Most men are anxious of how to behave, they do not want to be too old fashioned but they do not want to be beer-swilling lads."

Dr Spurr says a solution to this confusion seems to be to employ double standards - so most men are happy to be a gentleman on the first date, but are also happy to have sex, if it is offered.

"Men can take someone to bed on the first date but they do not want a woman who will go to bed with them straight away."

"In theory men are gentlemen but in practise they operate double standards."

She advises women to not give in too easily. "Hold back -- that is how you will get your gentleman. If you are interested do not do anything until you are really really confident you know what he wants too."

According to Dr Spurr, recent research has shown that 99 per cent of men take longer to make an emotional attachment - so it is even more important to hold back at the start.

It may sound old-fashioned but Dr Pam insists acting like a gentlewoman is still the best way to catch a bona fide gentleman.