A FEW weeks ago, I stuck the boot into DEFRA for a particularly bad Parliamentary.
Back on April 11, Peter Luff had asked the department if it had any new advice to farms in Worcestershire on dealing with fallen stock.
When the answer finally turned up, dated May 1, it said: "The Department will be writing to all livestock farmers in England about the new rules on the disposal of fallen stock before Easter."
Easter was, of course, April 18 to 21, and I suggested DEFRA may like to get their act together.
I'm pleased to report the matter has now been raised in Parliament - and in particularly dramatic (and a somewhat sarcastic) fashion.
The moment came during Business Questions, a free-for-all in which MPs take pot shots at leader of the Commons John Reid.
Peter Luff, whose flair for Shakespeare I have praised more than once in recent months, asked: "Can we have a debate on the nature, meaning and understanding of time in the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs?
"I am sure that you, Mr Speaker, will understand the empathy that I felt with Hamlet in his lament: 'The time is out of joint; O cursed spite, That ever I was born to set it right!", when I received from that Department this parliamentary answer, dated 1 May..."
Peter then read out the answer, before adding: "I do not know about you, Mr. Speaker, but I thought that Easter fell shortly before 1 May.
"It took a further question from me to drag Ministers back to the same space-time continuum as the rest of us.
"I was informed that, on 17 April, the Department had indeed written to all livestock farmers regarding the new rules."
Dr Reid, a fairly serious politician, was impressed - and even managed a flurry of his own.
He said: "I congratulate (Mr Luff) on having made the most literary contribution to today's business questions.
"As a matter of fact, Easter occurs every year. I assume that the Department was referring to Easter this year, in which case it will no doubt have noted his reprimand.
"On the general philosophical subject of time, we should all read Stephen Hawking's book, "A Brief History of Time", which I recommend even if for no other reason than that it brought to my attention the fact that there are 100 billion suns in the galaxy and 100 billion solar systems in the observable universe, so none of us should take ourselves that seriously."
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