Drug that plunged me into a living hell

The 39-year-old mother lives in a beautiful house in the heart of an idyllic Worcestershire village, which contains no clues to the ordeal she has been through in the past year.

Her problems began in the spring of last year, when she suffered a bout of 'flu which left her constantly tired.

Mary feels she may also have been affected by post-natal depression following the birth of her son.

She visited her GP, who prescribed her anti-depressants. She suffered side-effects such as tremors, and was then given an alternative drug - Seroxat.

Within two days, Mary, a former drug rep, said she became dramatically more depressed and even started to feel suicidal.

"It was really traumatic," she said. "I had a compulsion to stab myself, and had visions of knives. The best way of describing it is as a living nightmare. I saw vivid pictures of really spooky things.

"I felt so terribly depressed - much worse than when I first started taking Seroxat."

Mary said she was scared out of her wits by what was happening to her, and returned to her GP. She said he told her to increase the dose.

When she did so, she claimed she started shaking from head to toe and sweating prolifically.

"My bed clothes had to be changed five or six times a day," she said.

"I was constantly vomiting, and I was so weak that I had to be lifted to go to the toilet."

Mary said she suffered muscle spasms and could not move her neck. By now, her husband was becoming seriously worried, and took her back to see a doctor.

She was then referred to a psychiatrist, who recognised her symptoms as a reaction to the drug she was taking.

"He told me to stop taking it immediately," said Mary. She did so, but the problem did not end there.

"You also get horrendous withdrawal symptoms," she claimed. "I became so weak and debilitated that I ended up collapsing.

"When I went to casualty, they said there was nothing physically wrong with me."

Mary ended up spending a week in the Priory hospital in Birmingham recovering from her ordeal.

"Taking the drug was undoubtedly the most scary experience of my life," she said.

"When you withdraw from it, it deepens the depression."

Mary was prescribed other Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) drugs, which were meant to boost the serotonin levels in the brain and create a feeling of happiness.

However, none was successful.

"They all had similar side effects, but none as bad as Seroxat," she said. "That was the only one that made me feel suicidal."

The experience had a devastating impact on Mary's life. She was trying to bring up a two-year-old child at the same time as battling against depression, and her husband was working away from home.

"I had no family around, and, if you start feeling suicidal, you feel you can't burden friends with it either," she said.

"My husband had to take time off work and had to get my mother to stay here.

"When I came off Seroxat, I had a compulsion to hurt myself, which I've never had before or since.

"My mother stopped me doing it. It affected my family very profoundly. When you think you are losing your mind, and things are happening that you've never felt before, it's very distressing.

"It was a massive relief when it went away."

Mary said she was not made aware of the side effects of Seroxat, and was concerned her GP did not recognise her symptoms.

"I don't know how normal my case is," she said.

"But if GPs were more clued up, it could save lives. If I had been told by my GP to stop taking Seroxat, I wouldn't have suffered so much."

Mary is now one of more than 4,000 people in the UK who are considering legal action against the drug's makers, pharmaceutical giant GlaxoSmithKline.

"I believe I shouldn't have had to go through what I went through," she said. "I wouldn't want it to happen to anyone else."

However, she does not want the drug to be withdrawn from use.

Strangely, she took the same anti-depressant after her father died in tragic circumstances, and she said it helped her to recover.

"It must help a lot of people lead a normal life again," she said. "Depression is very debilitating, and it's a very useful drug for some people."

Health Minister Hazel Blears has revealed that the Department of Health received eight reports of suicide and more than 1,000 reports of adverse reactions linked to Seroxat between 2000 and 2002.

However, the pharmaceutical company is standing firm.

A spokesman for GlaxoSmithKline said Seroxat was an effective treatment that had helped tens of millions of patients lead fuller and more productive lives.

"The majority of people do not get side effects on either taking Seroxat or stopping, but some people do," she said.

"We have been advising patients and doctors on what to expect when taking or stopping treatment for many years.

"We are strengthening the patient information on side effects, particularly on stopping, so that there is greater clarity.

"Our sympathy goes out to anybody who experiences any of the symptoms of depression or side effects related to treatment."