A HUSBAND who struggled to cope with the fact his wife had been sexually abused as a child has made it his mission to provide support for other traumatised partners.
The man, who remains unnamed to protect the identity of his wife, was compelled to launch Partners of Survivors Support (POSS) after discovering a distinct lack of help for others in his situation.
The group is one of the first of its kind in the country and will recognise the effects of rape and sexual abuse, which can be suppressed for decades.
"The feelings can come flooding out at any time and partners might not even have known their wife or girlfriend had been abused," said Nia Quinlan from Worcestershire's Rape & Sexual Abuse Support Centre, which will be working in partnership with POSS.
"Sadly, many people experience mental anguish, but are valiantly struggling to provide their partner with the loving care, support and help they desperately need.
"But at the same time, they are not receiving help to meet their own needs."
She said "triggers" like burglaries or pregnancy sometimes evoked bitter memories of abuse, leaving partners trying to understand why they are being kept at a distance.
"Partners go through a huge range of emotions," said Ms Quinlan.
"If they didn't know after years of marriage, it can be difficult to accept someone has abused a person they love and although they want to be supportive, don't know what to say.
"They also don't know how to be there without putting pressure on and how to cope with the mood swings and panic attacks."
Support
In the past year, 52 women in the county have received face-to-face support from the Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre, 371 have made enquiries and 271 have called the helpline.
But to reach the partners, organisers need male and female volunteers to provide support to individuals, run the service, raise funds and assist with publicity.
Working with the slogan Hope is Poss(ible), POSS aims to get off the ground in the next few months and train volunteers in the effects of rape and sexual abuse, the needs of survivors and basic support skills.
If you would like to volunteer call 01905 611655.
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