WITHOUT reviewing programmes for all seven Ledbury Poetry Festivals, I think we can safely say the town has never seen anything like this before.

A PVC-clad, five-inch heeled, crop-wielding bisexual "vampire" from Manchester, whose hair was arranged in such a dainty fashion on the top of her head that she seemed to have two Walnut Whips stuck to her skull. What a sight.

Thankfully Rosie Lugosi's outlandish appearance was matched by the entertainment provided though for the poetry purists this was not the most orthodox of performances.

When Lugosi read from one of her collections - which she would too often remind us are available from all good stockists - the audience was left feeling a little flat.

But that may have been a reflec- tion of the roof-raising she enjoyed with her comic songs - the hour- long set usually had the majority of the audience roaring with laughter.

How could they not with ditties that corrupted the originals so incredibly. Like B-I-S-E-X-U-A-L, a hybrid version of Dolly Parton's D-I-V-O-R-C-E. And Elvis' The Wonder of You reinvented into You're a Pervert, And I'm One Too.

A romp, though perhaps more of a comedy routine than an example of cutting-edge poetry.

John Brenan