THERE are times when MPs can't help publicly patting themselves on the back.

Often they have tongue firmly in cheek or are trying to kill time as so few of their colleagues have managed to attend that day's debate.

But, whatever the explanation, Bill Wiggin and his fellow Tories last week took self-praise to the point of destruction. Mass destruction, to be precise.

The love-in came during a debate on the Water Bill, which deals with the controversial subject of fluoridation.

Bill, a Tory environment spokesman at that point, got the ball rolling with some lavish praise for Chris Grayling - who has apparently put the fear of God into the Government.

This was based on the fact DEFRA ducked a question Mr Grayling had been planning to ask in the Commons.

"I suspect that Ministers were frightened of him. I can think of no other reason why they should shy away from his incisive questioning," said Bill.

At this point Bill sat down to let another colleague, the excitable John Bercow, speak.

Admiration

After thanking Bill for his "customary generosity", he offered advice which would add "ammunition" to his "arsenal".

Bill couldn't hide his admiration, replying: "My honourable friend makes another extremely important point and I am very grateful to him for doing so.

"I suspect that, because he is such a tremendous debater, he will arm me with almost weapons of mass destruction. I do not think that I would be too upset watching the Government crumble before him."

Had he really likened a tip on debating fluoridation to a "weapon of mass destruction?" some MPs wondered.

He certainly had and the Tories were about to "sex up" the self-congratulation even further.

"A 45-minute warning," intervened George Osbourne, in a parody of the Government's infamous claim about Saddam Hussein's weapons capability.

"Indeed, a 45-minute warning," grinned Bill.

And with that, they got back to the business of discussing the Water Bill's Clause 83.