WHERE have you gone Joe DiMaggio, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo, woo, woo.

There can be few whose formative years were the mid-60s, who don't know every line of Simon and Garfunkel's bounce along song Mrs Robinson.

Well, they'll probably be at Malvern Festival Theatre in force from Monday, December 1, when the stage version of the film for which it was the soundtrack hits town.

The Graduate was one of those iconic stories of the 60s. Handsome but nave university star gets seduced by alcoholic middle aged woman, when he really fancies her daughter. Extra problem, she's the wife of his father's business partner.

With those Simon and Garfunkel classics meandering in the background, it made a wonderful movie.

"Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again." As young Ben Braddock closes his eyes against the hot sun and drifts off into his own world aboard a lilo on the family swimming pool.

Loved it to bits. Will I like the play?

We'll have to wait and see.

Certainly it did well in the West End, where it lived off considerable publicity as a succession of actresses of the calibre of Jerry Hall, Amanda Donohoe and Linda Gray played the role of Mrs Robinson and stripped off to the buff. Something I don't recall happening in the film.

But when the touring version went out, shock, horror. No nudity. Apparently, the actress now on the payroll, Glynis Barber, had a "no nudity" clause in her contract.

"Not fair," yelled provincial theatre bosses.

"We never promised nudity", countered the show's producers. A rather spurious claim, since they were quite happy to feed off the publicity the scene received in London.

Personally, I blame whoever cast Miss Barber in the first place. If she didn't want to perform to West End standards she shouldn't have been taken on. There must have been a whole lot of other ladies ready, willing and able.

Never mind, she looks suitably decorous and quite capable of putting the lead in any young man's pencil.

Glad to hear the stage version comes with a soundtrack of 60s music - as well as the Simon and Garfunkel hits, there are some Beach Boys classics, and by all accounts it differs slightly from the film.

The Graduate plays Malvern Festival Theatre from Monday December 1, until Saturday, December 6. Tickets £14-£20. Box office 01684 892277.

See you there.

"And here's to you Mrs Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know. Wo, wo, wo."