WHEN I joined the local police back in 1949, I was so poor I didn't own a wristwatch.

Because all our beats were timed, and sometimes the public asked me the time, I carried an alarm clock with me on the "watch."

Soon my older colleagues discovered my secret and would delight in asking me the time - generally when members of the public could witness the event!

It certainly made me well known and accepted by my fellow officers and with the public alike.

What criminals must have thought while I was interviewing them, listening to a mysterious loud tick, I can only imagine. It must have been very disconcerting for them. What a shame.

One night, prowling around my beat in London Road, I spied a courting couple standing in a gateway obviously in line for the Guinness Book of Records' longest kiss.

I was very envious, being only 21. Full of beans and bored, I decided to play a naughty trick on them.

As I walked passed I set off "Big Ben" in my pocket and the poor girl broke out of the stranglehold and gasped "what's that?"

The man though about it and said through bruised lips: "It must be a magical night."

I gave a silent chuckle as I slowly drifted away.

Naturally, as I grew older and more mature, I often regretted my youthful exuberances.

But they kept me in a job I enjoyed more as I became more stable. So if you want some fun - buy an alarm clock.

JOE WALTER, Worcester.