IT was a summer's night back in the 1950s and I was prowling around my patch in the Blockhouse when I saw a big chap coming along the street dressed only in his underpants and looking in all the doorways and alleyways shouting: "Mona, Mona, come to me!"

I watched the strange antics of this possible nutter as I gave some thought to whether he was ripe enough to pluck off the streets.

Finally, he got near to where I was standing back in the shadows, and I went over to him and asked if I could be of any help.

All was revealed when he explained "I live just over the Canal bridge and I opened the front door to put the milk bottle out and the ruddy cat rushed past me.

"I'll get no sleep from the missus until I find her, if you see a ginger cat could you direct her towards me preferably with the toe of your boot!"

I left him with a little smile on my face and no doubt Mona Lisa was having a crafty smile too, Naughty pussy!

One winter's morning, I was returning to the Nick to report off night duty, when I was approached by a cyclist in Pump Street.

"Good morning", said the jovial bloke, "Lovely morning for the time of the year."

Salutations

I thought the only lovely thing about it was I was soon to collapse in my little bed, but I returned his salutations.

"By the way" he continued, "I don't know whether you are interested but there is an old house on fire in Carden Street.

I belted back down the Blockhouse, and, sure enough I found an unoccupied house well alight.

I pushed open the front door just as a fireplace dropped from the floor above near my feet!

If that pleasant bloke hadn't wished me a good morning first, I would have arrived much sooner to have had the fireplace around my ears.

It had certainly turned into a beautiful morning!

JOE WALTER,

Worcester.