I WAS rather concerned and surprised to read your headline 'Why I promised my son sex with a prostitute if he passed his GCSEs'.

All I got promised was a second-hand bike if I did well when I left school. But I suppose it would have been more energy efficient and lasted me longer!

I would have thought the mere fact that his mum had made this startling offer would have put the poor lad off his stroke and made his pen shake far too much for him to have been successful in his exams and to have claimed his prize.

When I was a young bobby in the distant past, I was instructed to come on duty the next day dressed like I had been on the road all day. I entered into the spirit of it far too well, being a bit of an actor, and when I paraded a whistle went up from my colleagues and the Station Sergeant looked horrified and said: 'I meant you to come on duty dressed like a lorry driver not like you had been under one!'

I was sent to a lorry park where it had been reported an old 'biddie' had been trying to sell the lorry drivers a treat that their wives should give them for nothing.

Well, I stayed on that wretched park for hours, but I must have looked like a tramp and nobody spoke to me and even dogs were giving me a wide berth.

I never had the dubious pleasure of making the 'lady of the night's' acquaintance and a visit to our bed and breakfast accommodation at the Nick.

I have never taken my GCSEs but am seriously thinking about taking them as soon as possible as I could do with a new bike.

JOE WALTER,

Worcester.