ONE of the duties I was given as a young Bobby at the local Nick, back in the good old days, was a duty called Reserve. This meant you remained in the station to cook all the delicacies their loving wives had sent for their heroes' tea or supper after the normal cook had gone home.

It was the officers who were a 'pain'. One used to leave his food together with a list stating how he wanted it cooked.

One evening a 'Guvnor' handed me a bag and when I opened it I was horrified to see two pigs trotters peeping out at me!

I hadn't a clue how you cooked them, do you boil, bake or fry them?

I rang my mater over at the fire station who knew all about cooking. "Ollie", I said, "how do you cook pigs feet? "Chuck em in some water and boil em", was his confident reply.

After about two hours, the Inspector rang me. "Is my supper ready?" he queried. "Well they've been cooking for two hours, sir."

"Bring them down" he said. So I got them out and tried to arrange them on a plate, like they do on Ready Steady Cook, but the pesky things were both left feet!

I laid my creation before the boss who immediately queried "Where's the ruddy gravy?" I looked perplexed and said "There's no gravy, sir".

"What did you cook them in? he said. I replied "Water". "Well where is it? Came his reply. "Down the sink" I said with concern. "You've ruined my supper!" he said with feeling.

I didn't seem to get Reserve duty again when he was on duty - I'm pleased to say.

JOE WALTER,

Worcester.