The speeches

Unaccustomed as you may be to speaking in public, there's no getting away from the fact that no matter how unconventional the wedding, the speeches are still considered a part of the occasion. The guests expect them!

What is more common nowadays is that the bride is more likely to get up and say a few words too.

The wedding speech has proved a rich source of comedy sketches for the likes of Rowan Atkinson and Ronnie Barker but for many tortured souls who have never delivered a public speech in their life, the prospect hangs like the sword of Damocles above them for weeks in advance.

And yet it need not be the case as there's plenty of help out there.

As well as the myriad of "how to" books on the subject - you only have to visit your nearest bookshop or library - there's always the internet.

Surfing through there, you'll find not only sites with advice on making a speech, there are sites which come complete with scores of ready-made orations. These feature speech templates into which you can feed your family's bespoke configurations and also come with specific advice on following formal and less formal or personal routes. With thousands of opening lines, punchlines and toasts, it really is hard to fail.

There are also tips on handling nerves - apparently, says one, a bit of adrenaline coursing through the system makes for better delivery.

What is certain for a good speech is that having something prepared and which you can stand up and deliver is much more likely to prove a winner, rather than just standing up to address a crowd because the champagne has gone to your head and over-riding bonhomie has taken hold.

What should add a great deal to the entertainment factor is providing each table of guests with a bingo card listing key words that are likely to crop up in the speech. This will not only maintain avid attention but boost the entertainment value tenfold.

If you will be one of those getting up to deliver a few words, don't leave it to the last minute - give yourself a good few months so that you can decide what you're going to say and jot notes down on paper.

Think about how long you'll want your speech to be and draw up as much information as possible about your subject - most likely the bride and groom - and how you want to present it.

And practice! You may feel odd standing in front of a mirror but it will get you used to hearing yourself reading out loud and it'll give you some ideas of how you'll look to your audience.

It's also a useful way of ascertaining that the meaning of what you wrote is clear now you are actually saying it.

If necessary, make changes to ensure the speech flows smoothly and is well structured.

Keep things positive and at the end, make sure you thank all those who are also to speak and the bride and groom.

The usual order of things is as follows:

* The bride's father or an old family friend proposes a toast to the couple's health. The bridegroom replies and thanks those who have given the wedding.

* He then thanks guests for their presents and finishes by proposing a toast to the attendants.

* The best man replies on their behalf and may conclude by reading cards and messages.

Beware, there's a thin line between humour and distaste and only tread it if you are confident of your comedic capabilities.