'TIS the season to be jolly and spread peace and goodwill to all men, but sometimes it can be nothing but a stocking full of trouble and stress.

If you are worrying about spending December 25 with the dreaded in-laws or panicking about expensive gifts, here are the experts to help you deal with a range of festive dilemmas.

Q: I think my children suspect that Father Christmas isn't real. Should I tell them the truth?

A: Agony aunt Suzie Hayman of www.agony-aunt.com says: "Children tend to twig years before parents come to terms with it, because mums and dads like thinking of their kids as young and innocent.

"If you tell the truth, it doesn't take the magic out of Christmas, in fact I believe the reverse. If you believe in Father Christmas and don't get the present you want, that means you're a bad child, according to the myth. It also means you don't recognise the value of the thing you've been given. Really, the myth fosters an inability to recognise somebody had to work hard to get these presents."

Q: I got two of the same top for my birthday. Can I give one to someone else?

A: John Lewis stationery buyer Jenny Spiver says: "Sometimes -- but do so with caution. Only give something you think the recipient would like to have. The item must be brand new and in its original package, and the person who gave you the gift and the new recipient shouldn't be able to catch on that you've re-gifted. If there's any chance the friend who gave the gift could discover you've passed it along, don't do it."

Q: My brother and his wife are really wealthy -- we're a bit strapped for cash and can't really afford to buy them all presents. I don't want them to look down on us, though.

A: Lucy Beresford, psychotherapist and expert on the psychology of Christmas presents, says: "The price of the gift often gets in the way of all the other elements. It shouldn't be about the money -- think of things that are more appropriate.

"These people may have loads of cash, but they may be lacking in time, so volunteer to baby-sit or something. Your gift hasn't cost you anything then."

Q: I hate spending Christmas with my inlaws -- my father-in-law is a bore and my mother-in-law makes digs at me all the time, but my husband loves it there. What can I do?

A: Hayman says: "There has to be a discussion where the wife says 'Do you realise your mother gets at me?'

"Often the problem is as soon as you walk into your parents' house, you may be 40 years old and a professor but go straight back to being a little boy or girl. That may mean you don't see the adults playing manipulative games. It can be managed by the outsider, the wife in this case, recognising people play these games, so not taking it personally.

"Also, take it in turns to have Christmas at your partner's parents, your parents and your own house."