THEY walked the slow, studied, theatrical walk through Malvern's Priory Park for the benefit of the television cameras.

Heads slightly bowed, as though in earnest conversation, like a couple discussing an impending divorce.

Happily when Michelle Collins and Stephen Tompkinson return to the town later this month to appear on stage at the Festival Theatre, the script will be a lot funnier than that.

The five day run of Rattle of a Simple Man - from Thursday, April 27 to Saturday, May 1 - also represents quite a coup for Malvern Theatres management.

Because it will be the only venue this production plays before it hits London's West End.

No provincial warm-up tour. Just Malvern and then - bang. Opening night on Thursday, May 6, Comedy Theatre, Panton Street, SW1.

Why? Well, an explanation duly came forth.

After the saunter past the gracious trees and clipped lawns of Priory Park, the assembled company of actors, agents, theatre representatives and assorted hacks, repaired to the adjacent cinema for a press conference.

No room for it elsewhere apparently, because the local WI were holding a fair in the foyer and the place was packed with stalls heaving with delicate craftwork, scrummy cakes and pots of the obligatory jam and preserves.

Managing to steer carefully past these temptations, although promising to come back later to make a purchase, Ms Collins and Mr Tompkinson took to the empty cinema stage.

There we were told Malvern had been anointed as the sole pre-West End theatre because of the "special relationship" between its chief executive Nic Lloyd and the play's producers Duncan C. Weldon and Paul Elliott.

Although he didn't utter the words at the time - we were handed something he'd prepared earlier - the chief executive said, " It (the production) represents an exciting opportunity for Midlands audiences and is an important event for theatre and the arts in the region."

Clearly this is another feather in the cap for Mr Lloyd, under whose inspired guidance Malvern Festival Theatre has taken off like a rocket into the galaxy in recent years.

Stars now tumble down to grace its stage and in that respect they don't come much bigger than Joan Collins, who treads the boards in June.

But more of La Collins anon. For the moment it was the other one, Michelle, no relation, who was sitting before us saying how much she was looking forward to returning to Malvern in Rattle of a Simple Man in a few week's time.

Likewise Stephen Tompkinson, an actor I have always admired, perhaps because his desperate endeavours as television journalist Damien Day struck such a chord in Drop the Dead Donkey.

Although it must be said, while Miss Collins was the epitome of cool and just like she looks on the telly, he appeared somewhat agitated and less at ease, as though a jealous husband was about to appear stage left and serve him with a writ.

Nevertheless, he made a point of shaking my hand vigorously as he left and considering his grip I was glad it wasn't my neck.

Neither of these two bill toppers has ever played the Festival Theatre before.

In fact, not even passed through Malvern on the way to somewhere else. So this will be virgin territory for all of us.

Rattle of a Simple Man, however, is far from new. Charles Dyer's story of a homespun northern lad down in London for a football match, who ends up in the flat of a lady of the night, first appeared on stage in the early 1960s with Edward Woodward in the title role.

Then it was turned into a film starring Harry H. Corbett and Diane Cilento.

It is something of a classic and the casting for this version has all the makings of a cracking production.

The foxy Collins hooking her leg around the vicar of Ballykissangel. No wonder Stephen Tompkinson appeared a bit edgy.

Rattle of a Simple Man plays Malvern Festival Theatre from April 27 to May 1. Tickets £12-£20. Box office 01684 892277.