OH, dear. It seems that just when Members of Parliament thought it was safe, the dreaded expenses monster once again emerges from the depths and swamps Westminster flagship the HMS Gravy Train.

Many of these hapless politicians will undoubtedly be wondering why they ever decided to abandon everything in order to serve their fellow creatures. That’s gratitude for you, they must be harrumphing. Yes, how would you like to get by on £64,000-a-year basic?

And a number will almost certainly wonder why they didn’t become a Euro MP instead, a position that does not seem to fall prey to impertinent questioning from the proles on how taxpayers’ money is spent. From the free city taxi service to the overseas travel allowance, MEPs just cannot believe the Brussels blank cheque when they first arrive at the EU.

Last year, a Tory MEP became unstuck because of a conflict of interest involving a family business, of which he was a paid director. Mind you, judging by what has emerged this summer and autumn on the other side of the Channel, such indiscretions now look like pea-shooter stuff.

Nevertheless, there appear to be any number of Euro scams. Take this one for instance. Through the mechanism used to pay their second pension, unscrupulous MEPs find ways of avoiding reimbursing cash they should pay back. And several years ago, they voted down an amendment to bring in a specific check on whether this money was being repaid.

Last June, a full-page piece in a leading national newspaper highlighted this – and numerous other devices – Euro MPs use to milk not just us, but the entire European electorate as well.

All right, I’m against a federal Europe, as many of you will know full well. But surely even the most ardent Europhile will recoil from the alleged case of an MEP claiming a holiday in Thailand on expenses because he had a 30-minute meeting at the European Commission office in Bangkok?

However, if the Westminster mob thinks they’ve had it hard, they’ve seen nothing yet. For when the unpleasant stuff does hit the fan across the Channel, I hope there will be heads rolling all the way from the Grande Place to the Rue des Bouchers.