●NEW Labour has been playing the ‘Tory toffs’ card like mad of late. Harriet Harman – descended from the top drawer herself – and lesser mortals like Mike Foster have not been averse to reviving the old class war sloganeering last seen on any major scale during the 1980s.

The trouble is, with so many of the leading comrades these days being virtual millionaires, all this posturing does look a tad unconvincing.

And just imagine what would be said if the Tories ever appointed an unelected peer to a position where he was deputy prime minister in all but name – which is precisely what has happened in the case of Peter ‘Smarmchops’ Mandelson.

●A COLLEAGUE is holidaying in Australia at the moment and before she embarked for the Southern Ocean, I casually mentioned that the Antipodes possess some of the most venomous snakes and spiders in the world.

But, hey, that’s me – always looking on the bright side.

My favourite snake story concerns my cousin who lived in Zambia most of her life. One day, she was sitting on the lavatory when a boomslang – the second most poisonous serpent in Africa – slithered across the floor and decided to go to sleep in front of the door, where it remained for the best part of a day until a neighbour came to the rescue.

Sure beats All-Bran… ●IT now looks as if manufacturing in this country will disappear within the next few years.

In my lifetime I have witnessed firms cut back or collapse on an unprecedented scale, while the number of apprenticeships in British industry is in irreversible decline. Meanwhile, thousands of young people flood the jobs market every year, chasing fewer positions. Not everyone can work in the public sector. Somewhere down the line, someone has to make something.

●SOBERING statistic time.

The average working person is now toiling away for one week a year to pay for a public sector worker’s pension. I don’t argue with the idea that everyone should aspire to a comfortable retirement, but with the best will in the world, how can anyone say that the current system is fair?