It’s thanks to hospice that my kids are normal

Fifteen months ago their father died from a brain tumour and although there have been incredibly difficult moments along their path of grief, their mum Dawn believes they would not be where they are today without the support of St Richard’s staff.

“It is thanks to St Richard’s that they are normal, healthy girls,” said Mrs Pless. “I know if I called the hospice up this afternoon and said I am really struggling I would be helped in some way or other.”

Martin Pless was diagnosed with a brain tumour in February 2006 but, despite treatment, he died aged 41 at the hospice in December 2007.

Since then the girls have attended the Dragonfly Group – for children who have lost a parent – and still make regular visits to the hospice in Wildwood Drive, Spetchley, Worcester. Mrs Pless, of Shirley Road, Droitwich, said: “Imogen was only two when she lost him and became really fearful that she was going to forget him and it really bothered her.

“She wanted to go back to the room where Martin died and we wondered if it was the best thing to do, but I felt in my gut that is what she needed.

“When the room was available she led us down to it and sat on the bed and said: ‘This is Daddy’s bed and this was his bathroom and his wardrobe’. “She was so pleased to be there and know that she remembered him. She went away so happy that day and said to me: ‘I do remember daddy’. It is quirky little things like that that make such a difference.”

Equally, Camille started to become distressed and regretted her decision not to see her father after he died.

“She was really frightened people had stopped looking after him when he died,” said Mrs Pless. “She wanted to go to the room where you can sit with people after they have died, so we had a session and talked about how the room would look.

“We went in and I said: ‘Daddy was lying here and this is the quilt he was tucked in with and all the little things you made him were around’.

“I told her Martin went from the hospice to the funeral directors and when she had seen it all she was all right.”

For 41-year-old Mrs Pless the hospice is still a place she enjoys. “I really love being there, even though it is where we lost Martin,” she said. “Some of the loneliest times is when you are making decisions that could have far-reaching consequences. Usually I would make those decisions with Martin.

“Family support at the hospice has given me trust in myself as a mother; that I can make decisions for the children. They may be slightly unorthodox but they suit us. It enables me to celebrate my abilities as a mother.”

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