● A FRIEND’S grand-daughter came home from school and Nanny asked what she’d learnt.

“We did poetry,” she replied. “I was asked what I thought about this poem. It was great – all about spitting and graffiti.”

Nanny looked at the poem. Erm, this ‘work’ was not likely to win any prizes for literary merit. Or, who knows – maybe it will soon be exhibited at Tate Modern stuck in a bucket of strawberry blancmange with a £50,000 price tag.

I don’t know about you, but I’m now completely bored by political correctness. Wouldn’t it be nice – just for once – if this country’s true poets got a look-in now and again?

I’m more than happy to help out if any educationalists out there would like me to educate them by providing examples of the genius of John Clare, WH Davies, Alfred Tennyson or Edward Thomas.

There is one consolation. I believe the pendulum is ever-so slowly starting to swing away from the politicisation of the classroom. For me, the changes cannot come about too soon.

● Good Queen Bess is never far from my thoughts whenever I turn left out of Pixham Ferry Lane into Old Road South, Kempsey.

Back in 1575 – the year of her royal progress through Worcestershire – this appears to have been the main route to Worcester. Whether the road eventually joined the present day A38, I just don’t know.

I would imagine it must have done so, in order to keep to the high ground. An alternative route would have led her majesty into the Diglis marshes, and I wouldn’t have wanted to be in the buckled shoes of the court jobsworth who screwed up the route plans.

So where would the Old Road South itinerary have taken the royal train? Write in and give me your theories.

● THE Worcester-Birmingham canal supports an amazingly high moorhen population and I recently discussed this quirk of nature with a boater moored near the Commandery.

“There’s a simple answer,” he said, polishing his craft’s brass fittings absent-mindedly. “We never see any mink around.”

Thank heavens these charming water birds have found a way of escaping the holocaust on the Severn caused solely by the animal rights lunatics.