I WAS into the second bite of what was proving to be a very good choice of starter – grilled prosciuttio and asparagus with red onion marmalade and balsamic reduction (£4.85) – when the warning signals started flashing across the table.
“I can’t eat this,” said The Loved One. So we swapped.
The problem with TLO’s choice of poached salmon salad (cucumber relish witheld) but with ruby chard and a lime honey and spring onion dressing (£4.95) was the texture.
Instead of delicate but firm flakes of fish the flesh was mushy and wet and the salad leaves on which it sat appeared to have been sitting around for some time rather than freshly-plated.
That said, there was nothing amiss with the taste – witness my resulting clean plate thanks, in part, to the judicious mopping up of the tangy dressing with remaining pieces of bread.
We were at The Kettle Sings on the far side of the Malvern Hills where, until last weekend, you were more likely to find me sipping copious amounts of Earl Grey tea, cutting into a buttery toasted teacake and admiring the late afternoon view, than tucking into a three-course dinner.
Earlier this year the tearoom, which has been a welcome oasis for walkers and visitors to the hills for the past 70 years, changed hands.
Ros Fahy and her husband Dermot moved quickly to stamp their mark on the place which has arguably one of the best views in the entire county. On a clear day customers can see right across to Hay Bluff and the blue hills beyond where Herefordshire bumps gently into Wales.
Within weeks the couple had given The Kettle Sings a trendy bistro look with lots of blonde wood and stainless steel and they were also making alterations to the lunch and tea menus. The latest phase is experimental – serving dinner on Friday and Saturday nights through August and September. If it’s a success then it may become a regular feature.
The setting sun was masked by clouds by the time we arrived and we had also missed the excitement of a hot air balloon drifting lazily landwards somewhere near Ledbury.
The previous night the place had been full; we now had the run of the place with just four other couples – maybe the Night at the Opera event at the Three Counties Showground had something to do with the lack of take-up. Whatever, this curate’s egg of a situation was to be the reoccurring theme of our evening.
The tables were arranged at 45 degree angles to the long, long wall of windows, there were tealights twinkling in pretty glasses, linen napkins and music playing unobtrusively in the background.
The glazed confit of duck leg (£12.25) was all that it promised.
Tender meat on roast sweet potato scented with caraway seeds and plum sauce – but the uncharacteristic limpness of the skin was a bit of a let down.
If you like your lamb well done then this is the place for you. Sadly, I like it pink, so my rump of lamb (£13.95) – lots of it and brown all the way through – didn’t really hit the spot, but the accompanying softgrilled kidneys cleverly skewered on a shaved stalk of rosemary with red onions, sweet pepper and courgettes, certainly did. With it came tabouleh cous cous and rosemary jus.
I heard a woman seated behind me say she thought the lamb tasted absolutely delicious.
We thought the main courses might have been lifted with a little bowl of green vegetables and maybe that’s something the kitchen might want to think about for the future?
The night’s biggest disappointment and greatest triumph came with the puddings – both £4.95. TLO’s crème brûlée was a travesty. It came in a cup, was too sweet, lacked the flavour of vanilla, was runny and – the worst offence – there was no brittle caramelised sugar topping to bash open with a spoon.
On the otherhand my lemon tart with a dollop of ice-cream was an exquisitely memorable experience – divine and delicious.
With three glasses of Chilean sauvignon £7.20 – from a wine list of 20 or so choices – and coffees, the bill came to £55.65.
For us, dinner at The Kettle Sings wasn’t everything we had hoped but the Fahys should stick with it.
Making use of the building – and that fabulous view – in this way is a splendid idea. They deserve all the encouragement they can get.
Try dinner for yourself, but if you can’t make it before then end of September there is always afternoon tea (any day but Monday) and TLO can earnestly recommend the freshly-made scone, jam and butter – although she’s a little miffed they’ve stopped serving it with full-on, heart-attack-here-Icome, clotted cream.
HOW IT RATED
The Kettle Sings, Jubilee Drive, Upper Colwall, Malvern.
Telephone: 01684 540244
Food *** Value for money *** Ambience *** Service **** View *****
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