* NINETY-FOUR years ago this morning, the soldiers of the Worcestershire Regiment were about to collide head-on with an immense German host near the Belgian town of Mons.

The British Army’s first action in the war to end wars is one of the forgotten battles of history.

Nevertheless, until the second outbreak of hostilities in 1939, the heroic defence of this town was marked every August 23 in Worcester with a veteran’s march through the city.

I would be interested to hear from any reader who can recall this annual event and perhaps shed some light on why it was discontinued. You can write to me at the Worcester News and please remember to include your phone number.

* THE more I see of the metropolitan elite now ruling Britain, the greater my conviction is that there needs to be much greater scrutiny of parliamentary hopefuls.

The present government has sat on its hands while recession draws nearer. This is the greatest paralysis of political action in living memory.

It’s all right for them as they waddle off on their 11-week holidays, but for the rest of us in the real world, there are only ever-bleaker headlines to peruse.

A few weeks ago, I suggested that only people who had worked in the private sector should be allowed to stand for the Commons. To that I would add a rider – that all hopefuls should also be obliged to sit a business aptitude test, a sort of 11- plus for politicians.

It’s not much to ask of someone who wants to run our country.

* ALTERNATIVE comedians are reported to be worried that they will run out of gags when US president George Bush steps down.

I have no idea why. If they were truly radical – and not mainly rather unfunny Labour Party poodles – they would find endless material right here on their doorsteps.

George Bush may indeed be a ludicrous figure who can’t string more than a few words together. But we also have an endless supply of home-grown idiots ripe for satire, bulging plums of buffoonery waiting to be plucked from the flimsy branch that only just supports them.

William Wordsworth famously said that poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. The same also applies to comedians – it’s a pity they have forgotten this.

* DIRTY old Duck Brook trickles its way to the Severn, struggling through Worcester’s Cherry Orchard, under a few culverts and eventually reaches England’s longest river a few hundred yards upstream of the Teme.

Isn’t it time this polluted and unloved little flow was cleaned up?

Hatfield Brook at Kempsey has come in for some rough treatment down the years but at least this tributary contains some life.

Clearing Duck Brook of debris is exactly the kind of job that should be given to young offenders. Once again, all that’s required is the will.