The stressful time is now mostly over (except those of you that still have kids off school running round your ankles!) so now we come to the time of year when we feel under pressure to make a statement to change something in our lives; to make a difference; be a better person - yes its New Year's Resolution time! We have all set these 'goals' at one time or another...but how can we make sure we achieve them? Read on...
When I work through goals with clients they more often than not choose a goal because they 'feel they should' or because their partner keeps nagging to do it! ie give up smoking; take up regular exercise; go on a diet etc etc. The main reason people do not achieve the goal is that it is NOT their goal. A big give away is when people use language such as "I should be doing this..." because they think it is expected of them " I should be trying to get a promotion at work" If they are happy in their job at it meets all their needs (refer to Maslow's hierarchy of needs) then why change, why or to put it another way "If its not broken dont try and fix it!". When it is not their goal clients almost inevitably fail to achieve it as they havent the committment or sense of purpose to WANT to achieve it.
Do we set realistic goals? Again probably not. I find that most people set an ambitious and often vague goal such as " I want to give up smoking" without thinking of how they will do it, or what effect it will have on others. Also it is an error not to give your goal a set time for example " I want to join a gym" should be constructed more specifically and with a time element. " I am going to my local gym every wednesday to get toned"
Motivation is an issue with goals to. Not only have you got the "should factor" but we have to understand why we are setting ourself that particular goal "I am on a diet to lose 2 stone so I can get into my wedding dress in July"
Finally what support have you built around yourself to help you achieve your goal? This doesnt have to be a professional life coach but more of a 'support partner'. So a close friend who isnt afraid to tell you the truth "no actually you had a quick cigarette at the party" and can help you stay on track. "Lets not go to McDonalds for lunch how about getting a sandwich and walking in the park with me?"
Those are some of the simple tips to setting a good goal. If you would like to know more or to discuss your personal goals and options then please feel free to contact me.
I would love to know what goals people are setting for the new year. If you want to let me know I will address some of the goals in my blog to give you a bit of morale support.
James
www.aspirationlifecoaching.co.uk
james@aspirationlifecoaching.co.uk
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