*THE question of whether sperm donors should be known to their resulting offspring has become an issue in recent times.

They should. I think this whole nature-nurture thing is a discredited theory - let's face it, many of us know of an adopted child brought up in impeccable circumstances only to eventually revert to revolting type at the drop of an Asbo.

Genetics determine temperament, not environment. A number of my family members have either been awkward cusses or mad as grapefruit - understandably, I'm very grateful for being aware of my lineage. So there you go, then quad erat demonstrandum!

*IT'S my sincere wish that I cause as little trouble as possible to the family after I've crossed the River Styx.

Waste not, want not that's my philosophy. I've therefore left instructions that I should be given a woodland burial.

True, the finer details have yet to be established - this arboreal paradise has yet to be located and the type of sapling to benefit from my bones has also to be selected.

Everyone should consider this form of disposal. After all, it's only an extension of the green and black bins logic. But just think about the ecological potential. If everyone did this, Britain would, after a few hundred years, revert to being a land of forest.