SIR - I've been up in the loft to get my cricket gear out, and I've put plenty of linseed oil on my bat.

With the way the first two test matches have gone I feel the England side needs a bit of help.

I've got my bag packed, ready to go at a moment's notice.

The only trouble is, I now have to take drugs and the Aussies might object. The drugs I take are Spiriva and Seretide. These are to help me breathe, which I would need for all the extra runs I would make.

So come on England selectors, I am ready.

JOHN SHEARON